Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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