Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize