Your tits are I can't wait for
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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