I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
