I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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