I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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