So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
