kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No...this little piggys going to the bar
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
