Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm passing your future prison.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
