So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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