so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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