Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
