the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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