I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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