i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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