Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
