Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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