glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
