Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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