My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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