god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
