Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am spending my child support on dildos
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
