So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
