the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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