Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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