Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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