i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think a kid would responsible me up
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
