You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
