I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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