he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
