I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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