Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
