i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
