it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize