She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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