Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
