He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
