weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
