I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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