Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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