Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
