i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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