I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
