problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
