How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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