it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
