I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
