I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
