she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
