Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
