If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
