she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
