Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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