wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
worst night to have a conscience
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
