Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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