Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
