There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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