STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
